1. In a country the size of South Carolina it’s crazy to
imagine how Panama became such a melting pot.
Similar to the US, Panama experienced its initial migration, its
immigration, and its continuous rocky slope relationship with the indigenous
people. Chriqiui, Ngobe, Bocas del Toro,
Colon, Panama, and Darien are so different its almost equivalent of crossing
the Mason-Dixon Line and all of a sudden winding up in Jamaica.
2. Panama is hot. So
hot in fact, that its better to wear a shirt to bed so there is a layer of
protection between your skin and scratchy sheets.
3. But, Panama has mountains, BIG mountains. This also means that Panama actually has cool
temperatures. (This is my number 1 want
in a site).
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| Peña Blanca |
4. During my Spanish proficiency test, there were noises and
sounds coming out of my mouth I had no idea existed as I searched my mind for
words I obviously didn’t know.
5. In general, fancy restaurants enjoy leaving a piece of
parsley on your dish for extra style points.
In Panama, parsley is replaced by rice.
It’s the only guarantee of the meal.
If pasta is being served, there will be rice. If yucca (potatoes) is being served, there
will be rice. For some reason, if there
is not rice on your plate the dog got to it before you.
6. I still hate bananas but I love fried plantains.
7. Living with a host family has brought me back to being 15
years old. My first thought after dark has
now become, “will I get home before my curfew?”
8. However, living with a host family is great. I’m not treated like the white kid sleeping
in the back room. But rather, I’m
strangely adopted as the grandkid. I’ve
have so many Panamanian aunts, uncles, and cousins, I’m embarrassed to say that
I only remember a third of their names.
9. Talking to other volunteers, we have passed the point of
wondering who the subject of the conversation was when someone mentions “her
mother.” Week 1-3 it was a tossup
between US and Panamanian families. Now
mother simply means “Panamian mother.” I
never truly entered the confusion stage.
Living with a grandmother and grandfather, its easy for me to spew out
abuelo y abuela.
10. Thanks to Collin for planting the seed to this
observation. The concept of walking down
to the corner store for a soda and a snack was so foreign in the US, it seemed
laughable to be given an allowance for the tiendas. Now I dig the opportunity to hop down to the
bodega for a coke and a pack of strawberry wafer cookies.
11. Panamanians are NOT transient. I would be willing to bet the degrees of
separation in Santa Rita (host town) is 5.
Kevin Bacon can’t even compete with that.
12. The Ngobe have mastered the poker face.
There is an equal chance, based on their expressions, that
these people either came from a wedding or a funeral. However their even-keeled mentality has
allowed them to survive in some of the most arduous landscape. Every step a Ngobe takes seems so
methodically chosen to use the least amount of energy, and never have a bead of
sweat appear on their. But being 5’ and
having a center of gravity below the surface of the Earth would definitely help
you glide across the land instead of sauntering across it. I have mad respect for the Ngobes.
13. Ngobes also stitch satchel bags that put European man
purses to shame
14. I never realized how entertained I could be by chickens.
15. Though only chickens like this with baller haircuts are worthy of
nicknames. Mr. Dapper Dan
16. Mangy dogs roam everywhere.
17. Dogs belong to the house rather than the family. If someone were to move tomorrow, dogs would
idly sit by stupefied, but not follow.
And like clockwork, I guarantee that the new family moving in would
straight up accept the dog’s existence like they were part of the deed.
18. Animals are not allowed in the house. There are thousands of awesome ways to get
animals to stop being pesky around your feet, and get out of the doorway. My favorites include QUITA, VAYA, USAAA,
Incomprehensible
Spanish sentences, or my favorite: the old lady shoo. The long drone of the SHHHHOOOOOO naturally
becomes more effective with age as the perfect tone is ascertained and
replicated through years and years of practice.
For some reason ALL men or women under the age of 55 cannot master this.
19. In the US pedestrians desperately search and fail for a
taxi. In Panama taxi drivers desperately
search and fail for passengers.
20. Travel by chiva (AKA pickup truck) seems like a slapstick
concept stripped out of a Mel Brooks comedy.
But in Ngobe Comarca land it’s the only way to get around. Fortunately for me, gringos aren’t allowed to
hang off the back, but that still won’t protect me from getting smashed by the
230 lb. man chilling on top of the truck bed.
| Same Concept, Different Country |
21. Every chiva and busito (think transportation for the
family with 8 homeschooled kids) driver knows everyone. Driving from the Darien to Panama City, our chauffeur
honked and pointed at no less than 70% of pedestrians and vehicles in the
Darien Province.
22. Speaking of the Darien, the indigenous Embara people are
the exact opposite of the Ngobe, bubbly and gregarious.
23. Embara girls seem to have taken pages out of Greg
Popovich’s coaching bible. Defense and
passing were the name to the game. Their
style absolutely put to shame that of any Panamian man attempting to take 4
steps with the ball sans dribbling.
24. Embara woman wear vibrantly pattern skirts that are supposedly
rooted deep in Embara culture. Thus, it
makes me wonder how they developed such a good relationship with Japan, whom
the Embara have now “apparently commissioned” to manufacture all their garments.
25. I had no idea who Prince Royce was before coming to
Panama. Now I have no idea why he never
became famous in the US due to his immaculate branding and promotion to hide
the minimal talent he might actually possess.
26. Tree fruit tastes 100x better than grocery fruit.
27. The roads leading in and out of Panama City are
laughably inefficient. So inefficient
that vendors confidently set up shop on the side of the major roads to sell
drinks to people waiting in traffic jams. People also sell peppers too??
28. Fishing in Panama
consists of sardine bait, twine, a soda bottle, and a hook. The results don’t lie either, 35 fish caught
by 6 people in 6 hours is nothing to sneeze at.
I can only imagine Cabela's being stacked with Coke, A&W, and Sprite
bottles to keep up with the times.
29. Mother’s Day in
Panama is a national holiday (December 8).
Tradition states that the mother cooks for everyone and does all the
chores, while everyone else sits around.
Good thing the banks are closed to celebrate such variation in
lifestyle.
30. Panamanians are
big fans of self-depreciation. They’ll
go out of their way to call themselves fat and ugly (and others for that
matter). Now if they only understood
sarcasm, they’d love Louis CK.
31. I’d estimate that 60% of indigenous men own and wear
either a Juan Carlos Navarro hat or t-shirt (2014 Presidential candidate). They don’t see it as spreading the good word,
but rather as a free item of clothing. This
proves the universal fact that everyone loves a free t-shirt.
32. Instead of pointing with a finger to guide someone’s
vision to a certain spot, Panamanians curl up their lips and jerk their head to
deliver a coordinate. Usually I’m more
confused after the question than before.
33. Crocs have magical powers. Kids gracefully run, stop on a dime, turn,
backpedal, juke, and kick in crocs better than I do in a pair of sneakers.
34. If I grew up in
Panama, I would think that only two soccer teams existed outside of Panama: FC
Barcelona, and Real Madrid.
35. It costs 90 cents to take an hour and a half bus ride
from Panama City to Santa Rita. I’m
pretty sure the toll to cross from NJ to PA on I-78 was just bumped up to a
dollar.
36. Guaybera shirts are awesome and the ultimate formal
attire cop-out. The presence of 2 bottom
pockets around the belt prevents a person from tucking it in. Thus you can wear it to church, to the beach,
or to meet the pope and not be out of place in any situation.
37. My first month plus in Panama has been great, and more
than anything I have learned that all people really want the same things:
safety, shelter, family, water, food, a sense of worth. You strip everything else away, and you can
still live an immensely happy and productive life. Under the thatched roof of a Ngobe house, or
the zinc roof of an Embara house, exist people.
People just like you, me, people in Europe, Africa, Asia, just wanting
to essentially be happy and comfortable.
More or less I think these people have figured out what their happiness
is. They just need that something extra
to make it permanent (as do I and everyone else). The next two years will all be give and take
with my new community as we both build each other up to truly achieve what we
want in life; that comfortable happiness.
Stay tuned….
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